What Is A Pillow Princess And Is It A Bad Thing?

Delve into the world of the Pillow Princess, an often misunderstood term in the realm of sexual dynamics as we dissect the stigma and provide insight.

Published Jul 20 2023 4 min read

A pillow princess refers to an individual, primarily a woman, who prefers to receive pleasure during sexual activities without actively reciprocating. This passive role has been often criticized and stigmatized, often used as a pejorative by those who may not understand or appreciate the myriad ways people can express and enjoy their sexuality.  

The term pillow princess can carry negative connotations, perpetuating the stereotype of a selfish or lazy lover too focused on their satisfaction to consider their partner's needs. However, such judgment may be unwarranted and dismissive of the complex sexual preferences and dynamics that make each relationship unique.  

 In this article, we will delve into the world of the pillow princess, aiming to shed light on the nuances of this particular sexual role. We will explore why individuals prefer this passive position and discuss the importance of embracing individual desires and fostering clear communication within intimate relationships.  

Understanding the pillow princess  

Pillow princess refers to someone who takes on a predominantly passive role during sexual encounters. It is essential to recognize that every person has unique preferences and boundaries regarding how they experience pleasure. Some individuals may genuinely prefer to be pampered and pleasured, deriving immense satisfaction from being the center of attention and focus during these intimate moments. Conversely, their partners may actually derive their gratification from providing pleasure and attending to their partner's needs and desires. 

Debunking the myths of the pillow princess  

1. Pillow princesses are selfish lovers

One common misconception is that pillow princesses are inherently selfish for not engaging in reciprocal sexual activities. However, this perspective oversimplifies the complexity of personal preferences and dynamics within intimate relationships. Consent and communication play crucial roles; if both partners are aware of each other's preferences and feel satisfied in their roles, no one is truly being selfish. 

2. Only lesbians can be pillow princesses  

Another myth is that pillow princesses only exist within the context of lesbian relationships. While the term may have originated within the LGBTQ+ community, it is important not to pigeonhole individuals or stereotype one's sexuality. People across the spectrum of sexual orientations can embrace a pillow princess-like role if they personally find it most enjoyable and satisfying. 

Embracing the pillow princess role 

For individuals who identify as or find themselves drawn to partners who identify as pillow princesses, it is vital to understand that the key to a fulfilling and healthy sexual relationship is communication. Discuss your desires openly and actively engage in conversations that explore the boundaries, fantasies, and expectations within your intimacy. By maintaining a strong foundation of trust and understanding, couples can easily navigate these relationships, focusing on mutual pleasure and satisfaction.  

Pillow princess and sex toys: enhancing your experience 

Introducing sex toys into your intimate moments as a pillow princess or with a partner who enjoys this role can greatly enhance pleasure and satisfaction for both individuals. Various sex toys can provide new sensations, maximize pleasure, and create a shared sense of adventure, excitement, and curiosity. 

Vibrators, for example, can stimulate various erogenous zones while focusing on either partner’s pleasure. Additionally, couples can explore arousal-enhancing products such as massage oils, scented candles, or blindfolds to add a multisensory dynamic to their encounters. 

 When considering sex toys for use with a partner, always keep communication front and center, and ensure both parties are comfortable with the selected products.  


The concept of a pillow princess is just one expression of the myriad ways individuals explore their sexuality and preferences. When approached with open-mindedness and respect for diversity, this role can bring immense pleasure and satisfaction to those who identify with it and their partners. 

By fostering understanding, open communication, and acceptance for the diverse experiences encompassed by human sexuality, we can work towards a more compassionate and sex-positive world that embraces everyone's unique desires and expressions. In doing so, we empower individuals to pursue their authentic, fulfilling sexual journey without judgment or shame. 

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