Introducing Michelle Hope as part of our weekly Sextech Salon, on how she believes sex education combined with entertainment can release some of our sexual tension & ignite a sexual curiosity.
What is MHSexpert and how did you get into it?
Often when I tell people that I’m a sexologist they immediately assume I’m only involved in talking about the act of sex. While, yes, I may be able to teach you how to “pop your pussy” for better orgasms, I also felt it was important for people to know how sexuality impacts their daily lives outside of the bedroom.
MHSexpert was created as a tool to help democratise learning around Sexual and Reproductive Justice (SRJ) through content creation. This can only exist when all people have the power and resources to make healthy decisions about their bodies, sexuality and reproduction.
Sex: the word alone often brings up feelings of discomfort for people. I have learnt that this discomfort can often be tied to past trauma, and this is not always physical trauma.
I use “edutainment” and humour through the MHSexpert brand to discuss particularly uncomfortable topics around sex. Studies have shown that humour can release negative sexual tension. I have also found in my 15+ years in education that not only can humour release this sexual tension and ignite a sexual curiosity. It also helps to build a sense of community.
What was your sex education like growing up?
I had one class in 5th grade, but other than that my sex education came from my feminist lesbian mother. Her advice was never trust a man and get yours first! It’s like the most epic and still yet awful advice for a child. I don’t fault her though because the school sex education wasn’t much better either.
When it comes to sex, what’s the one thing you wish everyone knew?
I would also like people to know that “sex” is not a dirty word at any age. I believe that it is important for us to understand that sex and sexuality go beyond the bedroom. They touch all areas of our lives, throughout our whole lifetime.
I have come to learn that most people think that sexuality doesn’t begin until we become sexually mature in puberty. This a wrong and dangerous message as sexuality impacts all people, at all ages, both consciously and unconsciously.
What are the key trends you’re seeing at the moment that influence your work?
Well that’s a loaded question, particularly when we consider all of the sexual issues on the chopping block under our current federal administration here in the US. So I will do my best to give you a concise two part answer…
Firstly, I have major reservations around how our administration is openly attacking organisation and programs help to keep all people safe like Sex Education or Planned Parenthood funding, and that is just on a national level. Some of the stances that this administration has taken on reproductive rights globally are downright scary.
Secondly, for the high point. Sextech is the future and I believe it has the capacity to help swing the oppression pendulum to a more equitable place for marginalised communities, especially in regards to democratising sexual and reproductive rights.
What is your vision for the future of your project?
I am currently in pre-production for my podcast called Sexpert Position. This will be a 30 minute show where we will dive deeper into all the spaces sexuality shows up – in and out of the bedroom.
This podcast will be all me. Real, raw and unapologetically me. Which means I plan to air all the dirty laundry about the failures I have experienced in my 30-something years, all of which have lead me to my current career.
Let me tell you, age has taught me that failures of any kind – if learned from – are the building blocks for success. I hope that by sharing my stories, I might be able to help others avoid the potential pitfalls of love, sex and those pesky “situationships” we all at one time or another have found ourselves in.
I will also be interviewing guests to continue building a community with listeners, so they don’t feel so alone in areas of sex, love, relationship and parenting.
By the end of the summer I will also be launching a product line of sexual health hygiene products for all genders. And beyond that, you should expect a second Sex Education book for adults; because let’s face it, adults retain and spread so much misinformation!
What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had since starting your work in sextech?
As a non-techy I am hesitant to make broad generalisations about the field, but I have noticed that many people in the tech industry are jumping on the sextech bandwagon because of the potential financial gain without thinking about how to create meaningful content.
Additionally, a majority of the sextech I have been exposed to is based in adult entertainment (which is great), however I am thirsty for more educational/safety content for deeply marginalised communities (LGBTQ+, POC, Immigrants, etc.)
To that point it appears there has been a sudden surge of “Sexologist/Sexpert/Relationship Experts” with little to no formal training and experience are using various tech platform to disseminate shit information not realising the magnitude of how damaging their “expert advice” could be.
What do you think is the next big step for sextech?
My hope is that the future of sextech will be firmly working within the space of sex education and helping build safe resources for all communities.
It would also bring me great joy to see the sextech space help to realised SRJ in the medical community by building apps that are not just consumers based. Our current medical systems (most specifically related to sexual health) are very patriarchal and archaic.
Working in communities of colour, there is a lot of distrust in medical professionals and for good reason. There is a long history in this country of oppressive and exploitative practices that have taken place in the majority of communities of colour.
Do you have any practical tips that someone could use tonight to enhance their pleasure?
Communication, Communication, Communication!
First we must communicate with ourselves and determine our own personal boundaries. The first relationship starts with the self. If the relationship with the self is off, especially sexually, all other relationships will be off as well.
Boundaries are so important for a great sexual experience. If you are holding sexual tension from past trauma, the psychical kind, I always encourage that people disclose that information prior to sex, that way you can establish a level of understanding and boundaries that will keep all parties safer.
Sex is complicated even without past trauma and it’s best to be open and upfront before you engage in activity that might be triggering.
When we talk with our partners about our sex desires transparently, honestly and openly, without judgement, all parties win.
I have learned in my work that most people are afraid to openly speak about desire due to the fear of judgment.
I want to encourage all people and couples to lean in and not be afraid of being open and honest. The process of openness also requires that we use empathy and non-judgment to listen to our partners desires and fears and respect them, even if we are not into all of our partner’s sexual proclivities.
Thank you for chatting with us Michelle! We can’t wait to hear your podcast.
