How To Have Great Sex After Menopause

Whether menopause is just kicking in, you can feel it coming around the corner, or if it’s well and truly arrived, there’s no reason why your sex life should suffer as a result.

Published Mar 27 2018 7 min read

Whether menopause is just kicking in, you can feel it coming around the corner, or if it’s well and truly arrived, there’s no reason why your sex life should suffer as a result. So, instead of wallowing in the inevitability of menopause, let us stare it in the face and say, “You know what? This is my body. I’m taking control of my pleasure.” And you can do that with our 10 tips on how to have a great sex life after menopause.

Tip #1: Reality Check 

When you were in your 20s, convincing yourself that you had an incurable illness (when actually you just had a cold) was common practice. Now, in your prime, you don’t make time for hypochondriac worries. So why is it that, despite our mature mindsets, we’re still allowing menopause to haunt us?

Rumours and urban legends should not set the basis of our understanding. Every woman is different, which means we’ll all experience different processes during our menopause. As a mature woman you have the capacity to put things into perspective, see the bigger picture and make the best decisions. Menopause is just another phase in your life. All you need is to analyse your situation, get a plan together, put together a fabulous menopause sex kit and make sure you do your best to feel your best.

Yes, both your body and mind are going through significant changes during menopause, but that doesn’t signify the end of your sex life as you know it. Make it your golden rule to remind yourself of this.

Tip #2: Use a Vibrator

Due to a decrease in oestrogen, your body will change but most genital changes are not visible, nor conditioning. Many women do not even notice these changes. Rest assured: you will not experience a nightmare moment in which you suddenly wake up with a shrivelled vagina!

One side effect that is very common during menopause is the loss of blood circulation in the vaginal area. This is where your favourite vibrator comes into play. Vibration technology massagers are powerful blood circulation stimulants and can improve your sex life after menopause. Improved blood circulation will keep your nerve endings receptive and the vagina as a whole in top form.

If Crescendo is going to be your secret ally during menopause, you can programme the vibration pattern that works best for you. We would advise that you go for rumbly patterns that will stimulate in a non-aggressive way, while making sure the blood is pumping at full intensity.

Tip #3: Lube Up and Slide into the Best Sex After Menopause

We know that our oestrogen levels decrease during menopause. One side effect of this is your natural lubrication will probably also decrease.

In a mature mind-set you must comprehend that lubrication in no reflection of your desire, your capacity or your “right” to enjoy sex. Lubrication is the way in which your body prioritises the use of water within your body and, due to hormonal changes, your body thinks vaginal moisture is no priority.

So now that’s out of the way, we can talk about why lube really will be your best friend during this transition.

The sex industry caters to infinite tastes when talking lube, so why not take this time to become a lube-connoisseur… just like when you were 30 looking for the perfect facial cream, this is your chance to find the best product for your vagina – it’s no less precious after all!

It’s really important that you choose a lube that is kind to your skin, has the best ingredients and will give you the desired result. Now the fun stars. Try out every type of lube you can, and think about all the sexy occasions you could use them for; whether it’s silky, to flavoured, to sensitising, to repairing, there’s a lube for that!

When using lube with your Crescendo, the skin-like silicone material will become even smoother with a simple drop of water-based lube – by skin-like we mean the smoothest, most velvety, exfoliated, hydrated skin you’ve ever felt. Not only will it feel nicer, it’s also easier to clean up than natural lubrication. There are many lubes to try on the market, but our top three would be System Jo Agape lube, Liquid Silk realistic lube and Repair by Pjur originally formulated for sensitive skin of applied players.

Tip #4: Love Your New Body 

Often, during menopause, we are so concerned about the physical changes that we pay little attention to the psychological aspect of such an important transformation. It’s true, menopause can change how we feel about ourselves and how we perceive our bodies and sex-personality vastly, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Remember when you were younger and sex was all about discovery? About experiencing new sensations and pleasure? Well, here’s your chance to do that all over again. Imagine and invent the mature lover you really want to be and discover new ways of having great sex after menopause. Allow yourself this game, enjoy it as a newcomer and beyond, and boost that sexual confidence.

Tip #5: Explore Your Body – The Best Homework You Ever Had

Whether you were a night-long lover or a faster-than-lightening climax master in past days, you’ll need to accept that it may take a little more effort now menopause is part of the picture.

Nobody would expect to have the same memory at 50 as that of when they were 20, but for some reason, we expect our experience of sex to stay the same.  Now you’re a master in pleasure, maybe you’ll need to give a little more… more foreplay, more clitoral stimulation, more imagination, more fantasising. But let me tell you, this is the best homework you’ve ever had. So what are you waiting for? Indulge and enjoy.

When using Crescendo, don’t rush. Explore its many possibilities. You could start with a foot massage that evolves into a leg and thigh massage. Then when the heat is up, ensure you give yourself enough clitoral stimulation. Increase the intensity and use the tip to tease yourself.

How To Have Great Sex After Menopause

Tip #6: Sex After Menopause is a Rollercoaster  

No menopause is identical, many experience a decrease of pure arousal, and others may feel an increase of adrenaline that drives their pleasure out of the chart. If you feel that – ride it (in more ways than one)!

If you’re not quite feeling it yet, set a date with yourself and brainstorm some ideas of what may turn you on, what may work best for your new sex life and collate an encyclopaedia of your new pleasure. Trust us, this can give you a great vigorous and exciting sex life before, during and after menopause!

Using a vibrator like Crescendo which can shape and vibrate exactly how you want it to, can provide countless possibilities for new ideas, allowing you to literally design your pleasure session. Whether you want soft water testing vibrations or absolute sheet grabbing intensity, it’s your choice.

Tip #7: Let Mature be Intimate

Whoever said that women don’t want sex after menopause obviously didn’t know what they were talking about (or were terrible lovers!). A lot of postmenopausal women find they crave more intimate sensual intercourse. Not wanting raunchy, dirty sex doesn’t have to be a systems shut down moment. Rather, a new approach is needed. This doesn’t have to be boring, repetitive or basic. It needs to be connected, tease-full and mutually receptive.

Try teasing your partner throughout the day. Connect, be there, hold hands, kiss, and caress. Send them that sexy photo, tell them how much you want them, urge them to come home and see you. Then reap the benefits. 

Tip #8: Thin News Is Not Always Good News

Another proven fact of estrogen level decrease is the thinning of vaginal walls. If this occurs (combined with loss of moisture) it can make intercourse uncomfortable. If you are suffering this, don’t be afraid to speak with your doctor. Don’t be ashamed, it is your responsibility to look after your new, beautiful body.

This is another reason to make sure lube is a regular guest to your bedroom. Beyond this, try indulging in better external stimulation, better dilation, amplified labia stimulation and the best toy and tongue play possible, because this will always make all aspects of play better, more refreshing and memorable.

Tip #9: From Exercise to Sex-ercise

Libido can be a casualty of menopause, with many of us feeling indifferent to play. It’s important to remember that that this is more to do with your bodily reactions, and not your pure pleasure. So, it makes sense that working on your body could really make a difference. Basically, if you’re feeling good with your body, your pleasure will soon align with your new condition. When you’re emotionally or physically unhealthy, your experience of sex will reflect that.

Exercise and well-being will improve your brain to body connections and really make a difference to your pleasure, relaxation and rest, so make sure you are getting all of the exercise you need out of the bedroom and don’t forget to rest – you’ll need that for when you’re fogging up the windows during play.

Tip #10: Your Best Sex-perience

A person with great, satisfying and exciting sex-perience pre-menopause will feel more confident and more driven to pleasure than someone without this experience. If you fit into the latter, build extra motivation out of it, make it a turning point in your sex life. Your goal is to make sure your post-menopause sex is the best sex you’ve ever had – mind-blowing, toe-curling pleasure!

Have better sex