69 Sex Position Tips: The Ins And Outs Of Reciprocal Pleasure

Explore these 69 sex position tips to make your experience deliciously mouth-watering, and most importantly mutually pleasurable.

Published Nov 03 2023 8 min read

Exploring and trying new things in bedroom is essential for a satisfying sex life. While classic sex positions like missionary and doggy-style have their place, it's fun to spice things up with new positions. One of those positions is the 69 sex position, which provides reciprocal pleasure and enhanced intimacy for both partners, but like all sex positions, it does require some skill and technique. In this article, we will share the best 69 position tips and tricks to make this reciprocal activity even more enjoyable.

Tips for the 69 position

The 69 position can be a fantastic addition to your sexual repertoire, but it does take some practice and technique to make it enjoyable. Here are a few tips for 69 to help you get the most out of this exciting position:

1. Use your mouth! Really, communicate and speak up

While we all know that 69 is about mouth-to-genital pleasure, let’s not forget consent and communication to make this experience really mouth-watering. Each person may have different requirements, needs and comfort levels, so no matter how many times you’ve done 69 in the past, it’s important to ask your current partner. By having an open dialogue, you can enhance pleasure and discuss any changes or new things either of you want to try. Remember, consent is crucial in every relationship. If either partner feels uncomfortable or not enjoying the experience, communicate and stop.

2. Find a comfortable position

69 has a lot of potential to bring pleasure, but it can get uncomfortable in certain variations. So, try different angles and position variations to find what works best for you and your partner. For example, lying side-by-side can make the experience less physically demanding while allowing both partners to use their hands and fingers in different ways. Feel free to experiment with different oral sex positions until you find what feels good for both of you!

3. Accommodate height and body size differences

Sometimes a height difference can present some challenges. If classic one partner on top of the other doesn’t work for your height difference, try for the sideways 69 position, which has more flexibility in body alignment and comfort. For couples with a significant size difference, the larger partner may find more comfort being on the bottom or lying in the sideways 69 position, and the smaller partner may find equal comfort in being on top or lying sideways as well.

4. Protect your neck

Maybe not the sexiest aspect of 69, but still important is the issue of neck strain. To alleviate potential neck strain try using sex pillows (also known as sex wedges or sex cushions), or other positioning tools to help you get the angle just right. Try placing a pillow under the hips of the partner on the bottom, or under the neck of the partner on the bottom to help with neck support and positioning. It might not sound sexy, but the experience becomes more enjoyable and less taxing for both partners when you aren’t distracted by neck aches.

5. Practice good hygiene

Having good hygiene is super important for oral sex. Make sure to bathe and clean your genitals before trying 69. Why? Because consideration is sexy. Every person will have different comfort levels in terms of hygiene and 69, but at the end of the day, it's all showing respect for the person going down on you, and vice versa. So, freshen up so you can focus on what’s really important.

6. Use your hands

Just because oral takes center stage during 69 doesn’t mean your hands can’t join in on the fun and do fantastic things! Hands can add extra stimulation and relief for your mouth during longer sessions. Feel free to get creative and try techniques like a light touch or a firm grip. Switching between performing oral sex and hand movements creates a fun rhythm that'll keep your partner on their toes (or their toes curled). Enjoy exploring and enhancing the experience!

7. Take turns

The aim of 69 is simultaneous oral pleasure. However, switching things up can add excitement and make the experience better for either the receiving or giving partner. One person can take charge for a bit while the other kicks back and enjoys the sensation of receiving oral sex. Sometimes orgasm requires a combination of focus and relaxation, which you may not come by when your busy pleasuring your partner. Then, when the time is right, switch roles and let the other partner enjoy the stimulating sensations of oral sex.

8. Use sex toys

Just like you can use your hands, you can also add the thrill of sex toys into your 69 session. There are so many options to explore, like cock rings, sex swings, butt plugs, and wearable vibrators. Each of these sex toys offers unique sensations that can enhance the pleasure of each partner.

For vagina and vulva stimulation, check out the Crescendo 2 and Poco vibrators. They're amazing for stimulating every part of the vulva and vagina, including G-spot and clitoris. While your partner is using their mouth, they can also use Poco’s design for internal stimulation of the G-spot with pinpointed accuracy for a blended experience. Meanwhile, Crescendo 2 can bend and stimulate multiple zones at once. So, imagine your partner is using their mouth while Crescendo 2’s six powerful motors are sending waves of pleasure rippling through your vagina walls, and then they remove their mouth to tease your clitoris with the other end of Crescendo 2, licking around your vulva and pubic bone.

For men, there are wearable vibrators that can seriously elevate penis pleasure too, like Tenuto 2 and Tenuto Mini. These cutting-edge sex toys for men offer stimulation to the penis in brand-new ways. Worn on the base of the penis, these male vibrators pump powerful vibrations all along the penis, increasing blood flow, firmness, and sensation. So, as your partner has their mouth around you, imagine Tenuto 2 or Tenuto Mini making you pulsate with pleasure with different intensities and different vibration patterns. The vibes can help switch up the monotony of oral sex and add that extra sensation to bring you over the edge into an intense orgasmic experience.

9. Explore other erogenous zones

While the genitals are the main focus of 69, feel free to explore other sensitive erogenous zones to make the activity even more amazing. Gently trace your fingers or use a feather-light touch on your partner's thighs, hips, or back. Pay attention to how they react and let the delicious sounds they make be your guide. Don't forget to kiss, nibble, and caress other erogenous areas like the neck, earlobes, or inner thighs for an extra level of closeness and excitement.

10. Experiment with different techniques

While there are some tried and true techniques, our preferences change with time, context, and circumstance, so don't be afraid to experiment and try different techniques. You can go for soft kisses, gentle licks, or even more intense suction techniques on your partner. Use broad strokes or feather-light flickers on their most sensitive areas, and alternate with focused attention. Pay attention to your partner's reactions and ask what they enjoy.

11. Incorporate lube

A frequently overlooked but super valuable addition to any 69 experience is flavored lube. It takes oral pleasure to the next level with a smooth texture and tasty flavor. Flavored lubricant also helps reduce discomfort and friction and helps if you or your partner are having a hard time creating saliva or have a dry mouth.

12. Switch up positions

We mentioned above how 69 has many varieties, so if you're used to one configuration, why not switch it up? Mix things up by changing positions or experimenting with different configurations for new angles and sensations. When you climb on top, you get to take control while your partner enjoys some visual stimulation. On the flip side, being on the bottom might feel more laid-back and relaxing. Another comfortable alternative is lying on your side while performing oral sex. Remember, the ultimate goal is mutual satisfaction, so let your imagination run wild and discover what pleases you.

13. Stay playful

Having a good sense of humor can enhance the 69 position. Embrace any awkwardness, find amusement in it, and let laughter ease any tension, bringing you closer to your partner. Remember, sex should be enjoyable, not a chore. If unexpected situations come up, don’t treat it like it’s the end of sexy vibes. Laughing during sex acts is common, shows comfort and helps increase intimacy between partners. Stay playful and be ready to laugh off any awkward moments because let’s be honest – we've all been there.

14. Bring in a third

If you're up for an adventure, trying a three-way 69 can bring new levels of pleasure and stimulation. This positioning may require some imagination depending on the genitals of all participating partners but lying sideways and creating a triangle or circle around each other can give everyone the oral pleasure they seek. Just remember to have open and honest communication about boundaries and expectations with all partners.

15. Explore anal stimulation

Giving some attention to the backdoor during 69 can add a new level of excitement to this bedroom adventure, making the sensations and pleasure even more intense. Analingus, or rimming, can be a delightful addition to 69, as well as perineum stimulation on both men and women, and even a finger or a sex toy in the anus. It’s important to discuss comfort levels ahead of time and not surprise your partner with a finger in the butt.

If you’re curious about anal stimulation during 69, try the highly rated anal vibrator Molto. This super-slim anal vibrator is the width of a finger, so perfect for those who are curious or may not enjoy girthy sex toys. And it bends, so it can move with you depending on position so you can always find the right angle and hit the right spot. However, if internal anal stimulation isn’t your cup of tea, Molto can be used as a perineum vibrator. Massage Molto's tip across your partner’s perineum and watch as its powerful motor sends amazing sensations from their genitals to their toes.

Remember, these are just some 69 sex position tips, but what works best will depend on you and your partner's preferences, comfort levels, and desires. Don't be afraid to experiment, communicate, and most importantly, have a good time!

Potential risks of 69

Just like any other sexual activity, there are some risks to be aware when it comes to 69. One of the main things to consider is the possible transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) through oral sex. STIs like herpes, gonorrhea, and chlamydia can be passed on this way. To lower the risk, partners can opt to use dental dams or condoms as a barrier. And always practice safe sex by getting tested and asking your partner to do the same.

Additionally, the 69 position can be uncomfortable or even dangerous for those with certain health conditions. People with neck or back problems, respiratory issues, or pregnant women should take caution with this position.


69 is a fun and exciting way to explore reciprocal sexual desires with your partner. By following these excellent 69 position tips, like communicating openly, switching positions and techniques, taking turns, and using sex toys, you can elevate the experience significantly. Of course, it's essential to stay safe and be aware of potential risks, like STI transmission, and take any necessary precautions. When done consensually and responsibly, 69 can add some serious spice to your intimacy.

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